Gingembre

Having the right environment set up to do [desired task] is really vital for me. The right set up has several elements: 1) It makes it easy to do the task at hand (e.g., all the items required to mail a letter are available, from paper to stamps) 2) It is in a good location that you visit frequently (or that you *can* easily visit - though for me having things nearby is vital due to #3) and 3) It *prompts* you in some way to do the desired task.

The more that I use these elements, the easier it is to do something, particularly to *start* doing something I have previously *not* been doing. For example, drinking water - I start off my day at work getting a cup of coffee and a large glass of water, which I drink immediately and bring the refilled glass to my desk. And there it used to sit, full, until the next day. So, I started leaving my keys next to my water, as a prompt to take my glass with me when I go to the bathroom (I need to keys for that). Because I pick up my glass with my keys, I now will go to the kitchen after the bathroom, drink the water, refill the glass and bring it back to my desk. The next prompt is physically built in: obviously I will have to go to the bathroom more frequently when drinking all that water.

Why am I thinking about this? Well aside from the fact that I am drinking water now when I should, I got to thinking about why some habits are fairly easy for me to pick up and others are harder. I was reading a *great* series on habits written by Scott Young here and there are some things percolating in my mind that pertain to those posts, but the above thought-process occurred in relation to why dancing is so easy for me to keep doing but working out at home is harder. The thing is, I *enjoy* working out, dance or otherwise. I am dancing 4 1/2 hours or more three times a week, and I am blissfully exhausted. Worn out, achy, sore, and I love it. So it is not that the idea of being physically active is unappealing to me. Which brings me back to the prompts: I believe that if I were going to a gym I would work out more easily, and most easily still if I were taking a class or had a trainer. Because those act as natural prompts - the moment I head to dance class I have set in motion 4 1/2 hours of continuous dance. Really it starts in the morning, when I grab my dance bag. Once I have done that, everything else is a given, requiring zero thought or motivation from me.

Working out at home however does not have that built-in prompt - YET. I am giving a lot of thought on how to solve that right now. Weights - which I love working with - are downstairs in Deme's apartment, but as I don't always go there, or at a set time, it is not a default. I would prefer to set up something upstairs, in the morning, but this requires a few things that are not happening yet: a) I have to get up earlier b) I need to involve, or be prepared to involve, the kids c) I need to have a set series of things to do so that I do not need to *think* (particularly before coffee!!) And of course, I need something that will give me that *prompt*. In this vein, I am thinking of enlisting Ana's help - if I tell her I want us to dance in the morning and to remind me, that could be a very helpful push (it is much harder to talk a 5 year old out of a fun activity with mom than it is to talk yourself out of something!) I also think the kids would enjoy being my "weights" or at least, watching me do pushups - and they could very well get into doing some themselves. :-)

So I need to create a "designated space" (ummm....this pretty much entails deciding between the kitchen or my room, not exactly a big decision), I need to get the kids on board, I need to be vigilant with my alarm clock (and probably get to bed earlier) and I need to have workout clothes ready so I can put them on IMMEDIATELY out of bed. Also having music ready to go should be a great help.

Yeesh, I meant to post something last week. Got distracted though.

I worship at the altar of garlic. It can cure anything, I swear! Sunday I woke up with a mild UTI, suffered through the day (an otherwise quite enjoyable day out at the park with Deniz & Su and family for a joint birthday celebration) and when I got home Connie suggested garlic. So I took about 4-5 cloves (don't recall now) and pressed them, swallowed with water, and followed that up with some very acidic lemonade I had made for myself. The lemonade turned out to be quite the lifesaver, as the garlic instantly started to make my stomach turn and the lemonade settled it down lickety-split. And...half an hour later I felt fine. I should have taken a little more garlic this morning, but I am doing ok.

I am so happy when I am dancing. F asked me the other day if, given my choice, would I spend my whole day dancing, like a summer camp for dance. I did not hesitate at all in replying yes. It makes me a bit wistful. I don't have many regrets with the choices I've made in life, but stopping dancing and giving up on that dream as a possible reality is something I still struggle with every day. As regrets go though, it is pretty low-key - I am overwhelming happy with my life 98% of the time. Still, dancing so much is sometimes a mixed blessing - like any drug, the more you do it, the more you want.

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Last night was nice - dinner guests are always awesome, and he brought good yummy bread to boot. Went excellently with the new olive oil I have...ate more than I should've, really! He left before the kids went to bed, which was not expected, but gave me a much needed treat in the form of sleep. And considering that I had got only 3 1/2 hours of that the night before, it was nice indeed! The kids had gone out to the garden after dinner, and came back up with a glowstick each, which to their great delight I let them play with in my room for about 15 minutes. They LOVED it, and really got into it. Ana made different shapes which she would announce, and Eva copied her. (Squares, circles, fans, waves and Cs were amongst them as I recall.) They were pretty good actually! I was impressed. I got them to bed at a slightly-late-but-decent time of 9:20, cleaned up a bit while talking to F, and then passed out blissfully.

This morning I had time to eat breakfast with the kids, throw the clothes in the dryer, fold the clothes that were in the dryer previously, and clean the bathroom. Was pretty pleased about that!

Roula has this saying "don't be afraid to break the eggs!" which she is fond of telling me during rehearsal (or the shorter "break the eggs!"). While I am pretty decent with moving my hips, shaking my shoulders/boobies is not my strong point. Thus the encouragement to break the eggs. :-) So last night I had some wine during rehearsal - not too much as we were going to be doing some crazy tricks involving intricate balance and coordination - to see if it would help me shake and shimmy some more. I am happy to report, I broke some eggs! Not enough to please Roula, but it's a start.

In her styling class earlier in the evening, we have a long piece of choreography that she's had us doing and building on for this past month. It's a nice piece, and I've been getting better with the required body movement, but MAN does it test my stamina to be doing that choreo three or four times nonstop to fast salsa music. I was WIPED at the end of the class, and ended up skipping my West Coast Swing class and instead spent the hour teaching the new girl the routine before the rehearsal started. She picked it up pretty fast - Roula was impressed. And I love teaching, really and truly I do.

Having a friend over for dinner (and dessert!) tonight. :-) YAY for being more social, and for people able to come to my place.

Actually, my week is very easily sorted, dance days and non-dance days. It makes scheduling things relatively easy. Well, sort of - time-wise things are very tight, but even without looking at my calendar, my choices are pretty clear: Monday, Wednesday and Friday are always out (dance nights). Friday night I stay over in the Bronx, so Saturday morning is booked also. Tuesday and Thursday nights are ok if someone wants to come over to my house or perhaps do something very local and not too late - but after dinner and kid-bedtime. Saturday and Sunday are family time in the daytime (so visitors and meetups are fine but must be kidfriendly). Saturday night is Deme's night out, so the same "visit me or be nearby" rule applies, except for special occasions, and Sunday nights are Date Night with Deme. Weekday lunch time however, is almost always free. :-) Except that I've been getting into a nice pattern of having lunch with X on Thursdays.

There you have it - how structure makes my life simple. (You can add to this that grocery shopping is almost always Sunday, and Saturday afternoons are beginning to be a Parkour-session-at-the-park regular for Deme and kids...I am trying to make it to the next one!)

Deme handles the budget, but I have been trying to establish a regular desk-day for myself and get more involved with the budget again, among other things.

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Sunday I started making a dress (from an old sheet) for Ana. The skirt is all done but I made the top too short and dinnertime arrived before I could make another one. But it went quite fast, the kids both LOVED watching me making it, and Ana in particular is very excited (and wore the skirt modified as a temporary short dress that evening). My sewing machine and I are getting friendly again - good indeed! And in fact, I may soon be teaching the other adults in the house how to use it as they have all expressed interest recently. OH and I finally figured out how to use the self-threading aspect therefore making threading the needle much simpler. Yay! Next up: a dress to match for Eva, and a skirt from the same fabric for me.

Then, a lovely loli dress! With perhaps a matching hairbow. :-D

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Our garden is rather wild this year, having not gotten its due attention earlier in the year from us. Still fun for the kids tho. Also, I have realized we create more compostable waste than we are going to have room for...I'm currently plotting absentmindedly on places to start the next one.

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Went out dancing - in the traditional bar fashion - Saturday night. Had a blast even though it took me some time to get comfortable again to dancing "with" someone that is not "with" them at all - as there isn't any of the leading and following I am so used to, and at home with, now. Favorite part of the night? The music switched to something slow and sultry *just* when the circle Deme and Jason had created and fabulously filled was empty...leaving the perfect space for me to step in and do some burlesque-inspired solo stuff. Everyone adored it and Deme was thrilled. I think I may have shocked Jason a bit. ;-) Good times.

If you've been missing me (or not) lately, it's because I have been in a rather reclusive mood of late. Well, not counting the multitude of dance classes thrice weekly. August however hopefully will see me emerge from the chrysalis into a more social butterfly mindset.

...so if you *have* been missing me...drop me an email, leave me a comment, give me a call, or send up a smoke signal.

I have been busy. Juggling dance and burlesque and motherhood and day job and job search and husband and lover and family and travel...it adds up. I am very happy with things on the whole. Doing even more salsa starting this Monday (three nights a week now). Deme's June was jampacked with fantastic art stuff. My June contained not one but TWO trips, one to California to visit my grandmother and the other a vacation with a lover to Florida. One was hectic and a bit stressed and the other was amazing and I didn't make it to the beach once. I'll leave you to figure out which is which.

Currently thinking about the next show (at the end of August), and my development as a performer in general, also about the possibility of performing our new (not even close to finished yet) salsa piece in beginning of September (even if *I* can get it together that fast - and it is very soon - I'm not sure how many of the boys will!)

Also starting to work out again (I don't count the dancing).

Thinking about school too. And passports. Oh and sewing and craftster.

One-word answers only!

1. Where is your cell phone? desk

2. Your significant other? harbor

3. Your hair? LONG

4. Your skin? pale

5. Your mother? complicated

6. Your favorite thing? DANCE

7. Your dream last night? aliens

8. Your favorite drink? C.O.F.F.E.E. (ditto!)

9. Your dream/goal? self-sustainability

10. The room you're in? cold

11. Your ex? learning

12. Your fear? missing

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? stage

14. Where were you last night? rehearsal

15. What you're not? clumsy

16. Muffins? pumpkin

17. One of your wish list items? dance-shoes

18. Where you grew up? SI

19. The last thing you did? phone

20. What are you wearing? stockings

21. Your TV? unplugged

22. Your pet(s)? none

23. Your computer? kidnapped

24. Your life? BUSY!

25. Your mood? pleasant

26. Missing someone? usually

27 Your car? ferry

28. Something you're not wearing? panties

29 Favorite Store? fabric

30. Your summer? exciting

31. Like someone? indeed!

32. Your favorite color? changes

33. When is the last time you laughed? now

34. Last time you cried? dilated

35. Who will/would repost this? unsure

36. Whose answers are you anxious to see? Deme

In the name of getting contacts (yay for being abe to see when I perform!) I went to get an eye exam yesterday. Included in this were eye drops to dilate my eyes, and then the doctor peered in with a super bright light and declared my eyes healthy. I went about my business, unable to see anything up close (my phone for instance was completely a blur, literally I could not see anything on the screen whatsoever), and waiting patiently the 2-3 hours for it to pass. Only it didn't. My eyes were dilated at 4pm, and by the time I got home at 1am, I still could read not a thing on my phone. By morning, I could read text messages on my phone *if* I removed my glasses and squinted a bit. My pupils still took up 85% of my iris, and I realized how bad it was when I stepped outside and my eyes, sensitive to light under the best of circumstances, were totally assaulted by the sun. I made it to the ferry and then called out of work and came home (I couldn't really read anything on a computer anyway - I tried before leaving the house.) Connie then informed me that the same thing had happened to her back in high school, with her eyes taking two days to return to normal. I found this oddly reassuring - clearly we have some freakish genetic quirk that makes us extra sensitive to the drug they used to dilate my eyes. A call to the doctor confirmed that for some people, it can take 24 to 48 hours to return to normal. It is now 29 hours after I received the drops, and I am nowhere near normal - I am hoping I will be okay by the morning. In any case I will go to work and do what I can. I am also performing the cha cha piece tomorrow, but luckily for that my lack of an ability to see details is not that important (in fact I danced in all my classes Wednesday night without too much difficulty).

On the upside, last night's rehearsal of the cha cha went very well. I started getting really playful with it, and just generally hamming it up, which is good. I also got more vocal with my partner about what he can do to lead me better- previously I was more hesitant since I had less experience and didn't always know what was my fault and what was something he needed to do differently. So that's good.

Being unable to focus is very offputting. It leaves me feeling off kilter the entire time, unable to collect my thoughts well and generally very disoriented. It is also very upsetting in a way. I am amazed how much it has thrown me off.

It seems only fitting that as winter has given way to spring, I have been busy doing and creating, doing and creating. When I walk up the porch and see the bulbs bursting with flowers, I feel a kinship - they too have been busy, largely unseen, in the past few months, working hard to bring this beauty to our lives.

I should have been posting this whole time - I will regret later that I didn't - but somehow being on the computer when I am home is a slightly odd idea...and using it to do something productive even stranger. Clearly, something I need to work on!

What have I been up to? Well, I have produced three full burlesque-and-variety shows, plus one (and hosted - my very first time!) that was smaller, burlesque-only show. The next full one is coming up in a month, and I will shortly be quite busy with it. I have, since New Years, choreographed four new pieces, bringing my total number of pieces to five, though one of them has not yet seen the light of day due to technical difficulties at the show. Of these, two of them are in heavy rotation (so to speak), one of them is a duo and thus limited to special occasions, and the other is more serious and not suited to every show. I am currently working on a new, more dance-y piece for May. Aside from my own shows, I have performed in five other shows (one in February, and FOUR in April alone!). I have also been invited to perform in several others (YAY!) though am planning to limit my shows in the city a bit more in the future if they involve missing dinner with the kids on a night I am normally here.

Speaking of the kids, they continue to amaze me. Ana now does this twisty-thing in her hammock that entails using the hammock wrapped around her waist to support her upside down (no hands!) - something she figured out all on her own. She will be 5(!) in mid-May, something she is pretty excited about. She has requested to go to the roller rink for her birthday, and we-the-grownups also decided to throw her a surprise party before the big day. I think Connie is more excited about it than Ana will be LOL! Ana is also doing a significant amount of reading-prep, of her own volition. She's getting pretty good at it to.

Eva is...such a Libra lol. SOOOO easy-going, 99% of the time. Only recently did she throw a can't-get-out-of-it really-needs-a-nap tantrum, the kind where absolutely NOTHING will stop the screaming. When Deme took her in his room to lie down with her and shush her till she passed out, Asa thought she broke a bone or something, it sounded that bad. Only afterwards did Deme and I recall how these types of blowups were somewhat "usual" for Ana at that age (2 1/2) and how in fact it was so shocking with Eva only because it is so RARE. On the occasions when we have Eva-and-Mommy alone time, I am reminded too what a sense of humor she has. She is really a blast to be around, always giggling over something.

What I most love though is watching them together. They often play pretend with Ana being the Mommy and "teaching" Eva how to walk, or perhaps both being parents to their dolls. I hear "Mommy!" and frequently look around only to realize they aren't talking about *me* at all.

I've also been rather busy getting back to my sewing machine. I had been scared off ever since the last one started acting kooky, sure it must somehow be something I had done, and a bit hesitant to fool around with this new one (okay, a LOT hesitant). I was pulled out of this avoidance by a promise I had made to a family friend to help her make dresses for her two kids - they were invited to a Renn Faire wedding. Now, I don't know how authentic one is supposed to be with Renn Faire stuff, but luckily she already had a design and fabric in mind so I didn't have to worry about that. I ended up making these "fairy dresses" that were a simple design in shiny lavender fabric with a sheer rose skirt overlay - they looked VERY nice if I say so myself (in fact I promised the kids I will make them versions soon!) though I am worried that the younger one's dress ended up too small (I did not get a chance to fit it at the end). Hopefully it worked out, but more importantly, it has really inspired me to get back into sewing. In fact, in preparation for Swap-a-Rama-Rama (which I missed actually) I went through ALL of my clothes, and gather FIVE bags of items to donate! And it may sound dorky but that was truly exciting to me LOL - my house, my spirit, felt SO much lighter after that. And my closet looked great!

In other news, Deme and I are doing very well together these days. The D/s, works for us, being poly, works for us, everything really just...works very well. People at the dance studio where I take so many classes (4-5 on Wednesday, 3 on Friday plus the party after) often express amazement at how supportive he is - clearly not an experience that everyone has. I usually try to take a moment to explain that actually he is possibly more excited about my dancing than I am - he sees how happy it makes me, and it is, as he said "worth every penny and so much more." And this is true - I am happier than I have been in a long LONG time...I can't tell you for sure how long really since I can't recall being this content, this at peace and joyful. Maybe as a young kid, I'm just not sure. But OH it is so addictive! :-)

Poly-wise btw, it is rather funny in that I am SO damn busy that there are many people I meet that seem awesome, I would love to go out with, and I just don't have not even a tiny bit of time for. However, there is one person that I dance with and have a huge crush on :-) so we often get to talk after class or dance at the party. It is quite quite nice...I would say even that it is a bit more intense than most times I am into someone - he inspires in me an unheard-of desire to cook for him, for instance - but perhaps that is to be expected as I do dance with him after all! Deme laughs at me a bit (gently LOL) as going slow is something I don't usually do (it's Deme's only way) but in this case it is the only way. He is right though - I am enjoying the process.

Random item: I have decided to learn the Dvorak keyboard. I have "known" for some time that it's much better, but it recently came to my attention that my "natural" state of typing, while fairly fast at 57wpm, actually uses only two out of four fingers on each hand. As I was practicing the "proper" way (using all fingers) I figured, why bother when I may as well learn to use all fingers with a BETTER system? So I will.

*whew* I am sure I am missing tons of stuff, but I am done for now!

Tomorrow Ana gets tested for the gifted program. Assuming she doesn't get too stressed (as she is wont to do - the party line here is "nah, it's not important Ana!") and that she doesn't play the silly game (one dot, two dots, what comes next?...and elephant! *giggle*) I think she will do well. Unfortunately it means she misses her dance/trapeze class tomorrow, but we will hoist her up to hang on the bar in the doorway, and pull out the tumbling mat, and she can go at it at home LOL. In other Ana-news, she now loves lettuce. Who woulda thunk?

Eva...Eva continues to astound (and occassionally frighten! lol) me with her incredible language skills. And, she recently found out that she, too, can flip over whilst holding on to an adult's hands. She repeated this gleefully several times last night. :-D

Connie - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! A full quarter-of-a-century...how does it feel? :-)

Deme finished the flyer for the V-Day show, it looks fabulous (seriously...my ass looks great, thank you luv! :-p). Will be going out tmrw methinks. Even better, it will read well in b&w too, which means I can make many more flyers for less money (as well as doing the posters in color).

I am getting more burlesque performance opportunities even as I write this...it is awesome, and keeps me on my toes to keep up!

I will be volunteering with the Bindlestiff Cirkus in March, which I am very amped about.

I have been very busy at work, and even busier outside-of-work! I pulled together an amazing group of talented performers to appear in a burlesque night that I produced on Staten Island (see the pre-show write up in the AWE section of the Staten Island Advance here) that will be written up in AWE for the Valentine's Day "What To Do" edition (we are having a V-Day show next!) complete with pics that their photographer took. Speaking of media, I should have video clips from the show coming soon. Also for the show, I collaborated with Angel Kitten to choreograph a new piece that was a huge hit (and will actually be repeated at the V-Day show, so if you missed it you still have a chance!) I have started scouting out local (Staten Island) talent for the show (no success yet...if you know anybody do let me know!) and have received emails from a photographer interested in working with us, and from the Staten Island Underground Film Festival which would like us to perform. I am sceduled to perform also for a friend's party on the 16th of February in Manhattan, and hopefully will get back to the Slipper Room soon (I haven't even had a chance to think of it yet!). I am starting on a new piece for the V-Day show, which keeps me moving forward on my goal of one new piece per month, and I will be updating *this week* a new myspace & facebook page for both "myself" and the show (yay! for the awesome Ryan Roman pics). (Yes, this means you will all be getting invites anew very soon!)

I have had two artists indicate interest in designing flyers for the show - I love Deme's designs but I know he'd like to work on his own stuff too! In fact, Deme has a show coming up at CSI on February 9th that he is painting madly for (when not hosting my show with a theatricality no one can beat!) or painting flyers for the show LOL. This is in addition to the show he will have come April at Martini Red. Yes, I am quite proud, why do you ask? ;-)

I have also been dutifully schlepping my older daughter out to Brooklyn for a gymnastic/trapeze/dance class that she loves, and has gotten accolades from her teachers on her abilities - so it is very worth the difficulty that hits Saturday morning when I have to drag myself out of bed after a long night of ballroom/social dancing). In fact, one of her teachers commented on how "uncommonly strong" she is, reminding me of Asa's repeated ascertations that she is superhuman LOL!

Those dance classes, they are still happening for 3-4 or more hours every Wednesday and Friday, and I am still loving it to the fullest. I now have a notebook dedicated to recording dance-related concepts, patterns, choreo, etc. I've also met some wonderful dancers thus far, including a teacher who only started dancing 6 or 7 years ago. He's a fabulous dancer and an even better teacher, and thus someone I draw inspiration from. And, he loves burlesque! :-)

I am very very happy with how my year is coming along (ok, I could have done WITHOUT the vomiting and such!!) and looking forward with great anticipation for where I will be come March.

...or rather, steals the cell phone from my sister (my only way to contact the caregiver of my children during the day), texting madly during school hours (oh, I'm sorry - oh no! she wasn't TEXTING!!! She was IMing!!!!!!111!!) until the battery died, cutting her last period class (which I found out as I arrived at the school to retrieve the phone) and finally having gotten tracked down to a youth center on Roosevelt Island where she was informed that I may press charges, that we are all fully aware that she steals cash (including her friends parents), that I am packing her stuff tonight, and of course reminded of the vital fact that, should anything have happened to my children during the day, her selfish, "fuck-you" attitude meant I would be unable to know of any tragedy that might befall.

Thus ends the brief, two week "return" of Elise after New Years.

Today, I am light, and livin's easy...

Although I feel a deep sadness for the choices that Elise has made, and continues to make, and feel strongly that she is simply (at only 14) not truly aware of the consequences she is choosing for herself, I am at peace knowing that I have done everything possible to offer assistance to her, and that she is simply not ready to accept any help yet. She is not interesting in changing the path she is on.

Informative, reflective, and possibly even interesting.

Why that did not happen as planned: crazy (cahRAYzee) visit to Elise's parents house and all the drama that that implies.

One of my favorite quotes, because she makes the excellent point that you can "jump in" no matter how much you think you have screwed up in the past. Excellent today especially as a few of my goals did not particularly get any attention yesterday, or even today for that matter. But I just jump in where I am :-) and it is all good.

The way my goals are broken down, I don't do them all at once. I still do quite a bit, but try to keep it where it is not overwhelming. One thing that resonated a great deal for me is reading an interview with Dax Moy where he talks about the power of writing out your goals anew each day and even saying them aloud, and the way that this process reprograms your subconscious. So I have started a notebook that is specifically for this purpose, and will also be used to track my success each day (I don't have enough room on my calendar LOL!) The back of the notebook is for my food diary. As it's a simple marble composition book, I expect to fill it quite quickly but the beauty of these notebooks is that they are cheap so that's not a problem.

Because I am reciting these goals out loud as well, I reworded them (the ones I am focusing on this month) into "I" statements. So my entry today (and every day till February, where I will add some more in) is this:

I deep condition my hair monthly and henna regularly to keep my hair healthy and well-maintained.

I check the calendar every night t stay on top of my commitments.

I make the bed and take out the garbage every morning.

I start the laundry immediately upon getting home.

I rewrite and recite my goals daily to keep them fresh in my mind.

I keep a detailed food diary to track my diet.

I post daily about my goals and "FLYing" status.

I drink at least 8 cups of water a day.

I contact artists regulrly seeking performance opportunities.

I take at least seven hours of dance classes a week, as well as practice sessions.

I stretch daily to enhance my dance and performance skills.

I do something every day to show Deme I love him.

I write to my grandmother once a week.

I make a new burlesque or go-go costume each month.

I develop at least one new burlesque piece each month.


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In other news, we have replaced Eva's crib with a hammock, so now both kids have a hammock. They rock so hard. :-p Seriously, I am loving the hammocks. They are super comfy, the kids LOVE them, especially since they can swing on them, they look dope, and during the day you can just unhook one side and "fold" it up so the whole thing is hanging on one hook - which clears up the entire floor space for play area!

In additional awesome kid news, Ana will be taking a dance & tumbling class at Lava starting on Saturday the 12th. She is really excited, as am I, though the early morning wakeup on a day I normally get to sleep in with probably be less than peachy. But it's totally worth it! That kid is SO oriented towards gymnastic-type stuff it's not even funny. At 4 she does stuff on the playground that kids twice her age won't try, and she is known at the children's museum for her penchant for hanging upside down from the rail *each and every time* she takes the elevator. For the whole elevator ride, she is inverted.

Eva meanwhile is so far ahead on the verbal skills it's a bit scary at times. Having long, involved, often complicated conversations with a two year old is just *offputting* sometimes. I can't even begin to count how many times she says something where all the adults look around and say "What the?!?! I didn't know she knew that word!!" when some obscure word pops out of her mouth. (Nothing dirty :-p just "when the heck did we even SAY that??")

Deme is working on the flyer for the burlesque show, and I must say it looks FABULOUS. Oooohh and he will be having a show of his own in April!

My goals - I don't do resolutions - for 2008.

This was meant to be a longer, more examined post (a transcription of a process I have already done) but this past week has been extremely busy (and I performed at the Slipper Room on NYE! YAY!) and it just hasn't presented an opportunity to post.

The list (not designed to be done all at once - BABYSTEPS - , but rather split into separate pieces to be added per month), in no particular order:

Hair
- save $20 per month for George Michael salon visit
- "dust" split ends daily
- deep condition monthly
- henna every 3 months

FLYing & GTD
- bedtime routine consistent
- morning routine consistent
- evening routine consistent
- review, rewrite and recite goals daily
- update and review tasklist daily
- keep food journal
- blog daily using daily quote and/or Flylady perpetual calendar as a prompt

Nutrition
- regular menu planning
- plan for excellent "on the fly" meals at work
- lots of "small step" goals to be done each month

Dance
- perform in Ramayana (if possible)
- take ballroom/social dance classes weekly (already signed up for - 4 classes Wednesday night,3 classes Friday night!!)
- practice dance at home and teach to Deme
- prepare to compete in ballroom dance competition in 2009

Other Physical
- practice headtands and other inversion twice a week
- stretch daily
- workout three times per week

Relationships
- romantic gestures daily toward Deme :-)
- thoughful gestures weekly to Nanen, Connie, Angelique, Evaneline and Elise
- write a letter to Bonne Maman (preferably with the kids) once a week
- compliment a stranger daily
- call/email a friend each day
- host two kids parties
- host two adult parties

Crafts
- spend two hours per week on crafts of various sort
- make at least 10 burlesque costumes
- use the sewing machine twice a month

Purchases
- budget $20 per month for contacts
- update my "undergarment collection" LOL - this includes bras and panties, but also socks,longjohns, tights and pantyhose

Burlesque
- produce a monthly show at the Cup
- produce a regular show at Martini Red
- perform 2-3 times a month at the Slipper Room
- develop 12 new pieces
- take 8 classes with Jo Boobs
- go to 12 shows during 2008

Burlesque: I am performing on New Year's Eve at the Slipper Room. I am producing two burlesque shows on Staten Island (at the Cup, on Jan 24th and on Valentine's Day) and will possibly be performing in a third SI show around Valentine's. Thank you, Scott Magri and the serendipitousness and synchronocity of life which leads to things like meeting a dj who has worked with many MANY burlesque performers who just-so-happens to live 2 minutes away from me.

Also cool: new glasses, picked up just today, courtesy of my mom (for my birthday). YES, she rocks. :-D

And: Took a free class of salsa last night which confirmed my belief that loads-o-classes come January is a Good Thing.

There was an article this week in the New York Times about the benefits of gift giving - for the giver. Why do we like giving gifts? The studies being done pointed to our enjoyment of choosing something to give to someone that will make them happy, and I couldn't agree more. I have always enjoyed ruminating on the things that might delight the recipient - even if I am *not* always so good with finishing what I was planning. Angelique is four this year, and is very into the Xmas idea, so I asked her what her thoughts were on presents for various people. In part I did this to help "steer" her to good (and affordable) choices, but also because I was very interested in what she had to say, and of course because I want her to feel very involved in the choosing of gifts given in her name. After all, that's where the fun is! I must say, despite my knowing that I have an observant and fairly thoughtful kid, I was still surprised with the quality of her choices. The very first thing she suggested for Connie was "a new bra" - which Connie is in desperate need of. (Her second choice for Connie was a book, also something I am sure Connie would enjoy receiving.) Her first choice for Daddy? New shoes - she had noticed while "wearing" them that his brown boots have a broken zipper. Another *excellent* choice. (And, given the complexity of both those gifts, I have to ask for secret assistance from the recipients anyway so I'm not worried about blowing the surprise here!) For Nanen she suggested flowers, which was then modified to "something for the garden". Around this point she got a bit tired of thinking of things for other people (hard work, dontchya know?) and we took a break LOL.

Speaking of the holiday season, I came across some fabulous "natural" (and cheap!) decorating ideas. I will link to them later if anyone is interested. AND Connie and I were up late last night gleefully planning a "play kitchen" for the kids using cardboard boxes for appliances and empty containers for ingredients. Yes, we are children at heart!

Things I have been up to

Nanowrimo: I did more than last year (not hard - writing even ONE word got me further than last year!) but dropped off the wagon just below 10,000 words and just never got back on. I may try again before next November in another month of my choosing but that is yet to be determined as I have other projects I am jumping into quite energetically.

Family: Family life is busy (as always) and generally good (fairly normal also, thankfully!). Some details follow.

Ana: At 4 1/2, her dr. visit this past month confirmed that she is growing up by merely stretching out LOL - she gained only a small bit of weight to finally hit 35 pounds. She continues to amaze me with her physical prowess (she can carry around a 50-pound kid for a bit!!) and I am extremely excited to have found a tumbling/trapeze class for her in Brooklyn, starting in January. This means my Saturday mornings will now be busy with travel, but quite worth it I think. She still does not like to receive "teaching" from anyone, particularly noticeable with anything physical, but I am hopeful that hearing this advice coming from a teacher (versus Mom) will help. Reading-wise, she has really made a huge leap forward recently to identifying sounds (esp. for first-letters) and picking them out in books. As I suspected, she seems to follow much the same learning curve I did/do - she may do nothing for a long time (at least that you can see), but then when she finally gets interested BAM she gets it almost right away. We plan to have her start kindergarten in the fall, and I am hopeful she will get into the gifted program (which tests in January).

Eva: At 2, she weighs in at 28 pounds, still very bowlegged, and AMAZINGLY verbal. Sentences? Try full out, complex conversations. It can be terrifying at times, in a (mostly) good way. She has ALL of her two-year molars already (including the ones she is not supposed to have for a few more months!) and is quite ready for potty-training (though WE are not necessarily!). She still has her fairly even temper (comes from being a Libra I suppose) and an *absolute* fascination with reading. In fact, with enough books, she will entertain herself for ages, and if you are willing to read to her you can make "quiet time" last even longer.

Both kids ADORE the hammock, and I ultimately would like to purchase one for Eva to replace the crib. I must say I agree with them - that thing is really REALLY comfy.

Elise: Still drives me crazy, and we are currently working on the concept that you should "learn" (defined as know without thinking about it, easy access) the things being taught in class. I recently gave her an example of why using the word "thingy" (or other vague words) is no longer acceptable when explaining a concept or describing the steps needed to solve a problem. In fact, I plan to dock her $1 for every infraction (though I will give her two warnings first.) As I explained to her, if she told me how to make a recipe, but instead of saying "Add the salt to the water and then add the pasta" she said "Add the thingy to the stuff and then add the other stuff" obviously I would not be able to follow the directions! Using vague words not only means that you cannot explain things to others, but also means you cannot grasp the concept yourself. This all came about as we reviewed the concepts of diffusion, active transport, and osmosis, for a science test she would have taken on Tuesday but she has been sick all week. Would it surprise anyone to know that I am SO MEAN that she still has to STUDY, despite being sick? :-p She did better on a recent math test, but could have passed if only she had DONE the equations (about half the questions) instead of guessing on the multiple choice. She still answers "I don't know how!" even for those problems I can assure you she DOES know.That's another issue we are working on.

Non-kids: Deme: Is painting all the time now, it is AWESOME. Also we are working out fairly regularly (we aim for two days of weights per week and ideally two additional days of other things though that is not as likely to happen) and we also are having BJJ (brazilian jiu jitsu) practice sessions on Thursdays (and for me, Tuesdays as well) with Asa and John. It's fun *and* exhausting! :-)

Connie: Mostly good from what I can tell, though her leaving my apartment a mess more often than not is pretty annoying (verging on upsetting really). I need to break out the sewing machine for her and show her how to use it so she can make her own cloth pads, her newest passion lol.

Nanen: Is buying me craft supplies for my birthday! Yay! (More on my birthday in a bit.) She is doing ok but a little sick lately.

Stuff about me:

Dance - Starting in January I will be taking SEVEN partner-dance (salsa, etc.) classes, 4 on Wednesday and 3 on Friday (followed by a practice party). (Specifically: a Cuban Motion class, Rumba & Cha Cha, Salsa on 2, Hustle, Samba, Basic Social Dances - Foxtrot, Waltz & Swing, and Ballroom Technique.) I am so excited I am prone to jumping up and down while giggling at random intervals. I try and find coworkers to share my story of delight with lest they merely think I am crazy. Burlesque-wise I am taking a few classes this month which I am equally excited about. January, I expect to spend a great many of my nights collapsing into bed totally exhausted, in the best way possible! :-)

Crafting - I've started doing a few small things again. Ooooh and now that we moved offices (for a few months until we move again) I have a cube with fabric panels (i.e. as a bulletin surface) that I have decorated with a purple fabric and matching ribbon trim. I will take a picture soon and post it. :-)

Xmas - thinking over a few things. Have some ideas, but we'll see how it goes. Cheaper = better, really. Ana really wants both a Christmas tree and a wreath. :-) We're a day late on St. Nicolas Day (aka celery in the shoe night) but luckily her calendar skills aren't perfect yet!!

My birthday: was the BEST. Seriously. Will have to write a separate post about it!

I am planning to participate in the complete insanity that is NaNoWriMo this year. I had signed up last year three days into it but never wrote anything. Oh, the shame! This year however I am prepared (relatively speaking) with a plot outline and a set of plans for finding writing time (including an elaborate scheme involving handwriting pages on my commute that will be scanned in and emailed to my sister!) On that note, expect to see even less of me than usual this November. On the up-side, there are at least 8 other Staten Islanders, and we should be having weekly or so write-ins. :-)

I'm excited about my plot, although it is not the one I wanted to write. I wanted to write something less dark, less sexual, less obsessive. But this darn plot will not let go of my brain long enough to let me figure out other options. So I'm stuck with it lol, my personal brain-eating zombie-plot-bunny.

I had a great night out Saturday, all dressed up for Halloween with Deme, ending the night in one of my most favorite ways - dancing! I love to dance with Deme, it is always a blast, and it never fails to remind me how far I have come to be able to not be concerned "what other people might think", to just go ahead and dance and not let my "it's-gotta-be-perfect-first!" attitude get in my own way. In many ways Nanowrimo is that same approach to writing. The goal is not the Great American Novel. The *goal* is to WRITE, without regard to quality. Tell the Inner Editor to take a vacation this month, and just do the thing. And this particular story should be quite the task for me in that way - it is a story I am invested in, and nervous about getting "right"...which is why I tried so hard to come up with other options. But not finding any may be the best thing for me, because what better way to learn to ignore that Inner Editor than to tackle something I actually care about? Let it go, let it go.

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As I look ahead at my calendar, there is one burlesque performance I wanted to go to in November, and of course Thanksgiving which I need to get under control, and then *drumroll* my birthday! So once again I need to figure out what if anything I plan to do to celebrate. Any and all suggestions are welcome.