Reflections on 2009

So much has happened this year in some areas, and in others surprisingly little. The biggest discrepancy between my plans and my actions through the year was likely that I had great intentions to perform more burlesque and instead my main performing focus was salsa. But that was the least of the surprises in store for me.

During the course of the year I have met some phenomenal people. Quite a few of them I met through OKCupid (in fact I met so many fabulous people and had so little time to spend with them that I stopped going on OKC so I would stop finding even *more* wonderful friends and lovers whom I would disappoint with my lack of time!) Several of those people have become especially close, among them Hera, Dexter and Sean. Jimmy and Samm, and Alex and Paola, are also delightful, and I hope to find more time with all of them in 2010. Other people I have met through the more "traditional" way. Eblyn and Meg, you are both remarkable and great fun to be around. Sarah, I feel like I know you quite well already just through Deme, and I hope to get to know you better. Jess and Jason, what can I say but that I think you are both truly fabulous and I can't wait for Burning Man to know you both better, so get on with a dinner invite already!

Relationship-wise, 2009 has been nothing short of amazing. Being poly is the best thing that ever happened to Deme and I - we are closer than ever and it's just....yeah. Exploring life, love, D/s, parenting, art, dance, beauty with you is a treasure - I am blessed every day.

During 2009, my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me (we are still very close friends) to pursue a monogamous relationship. Wistful though I am, I am nothing but happy for him that that relationship seems to be going very well.

2009 also introduced me to Kittie...Kittie, you are a star in the dark sky, a light on my path, and a smile in my heart.

Some big things happened in 2009 that I will always remember. In particular, going to the Salsa Congress in Puerto Rico was an experience I will grin about for the rest of my life. And closing the year, having my grandmother move to New York and join us in the crazy 4-generation house (finally with the oxygen she needs, YAY!) is the best gift I could ever have gotten for Christmas.

There are things that I fucked up on - I wish I had not been laid off, I slipped sometimes in my household routines, my money management was not always the best, and my fitness the same - but on the whole it has been an absolutely wonderful year, and I can't wait to see what this year brings!

With that said, a few plans I have for 2010:

I want to win the Turbulence Training Transformation Contest (#6)

Deme and I are going to Burning Man this year

I am going to attend some TES classes and/or other bdsm learning opportunities

I am going to build a toy collection

I am going to update my blog on a regular basis again

I am going to have an even better job than the last

I am going to make/craft more things and get them sold (likely through etsy)

I am going to buy a somewhat decent digital camera

I am going to read more chapter books to the kids, and play more card games with them

I am going to move to more of a paleo/primal diet that is high-raw

I am going to integrate my "taking care of grandmother" routines effectively into my "taking care of myself, home and family" routines

I am going to have people over for family-oriented dinners frequently - and also for non-family oriented times

I am going to learn how to drive

I am sure that is not everything - what ever is? - but that's the list for now. :-)

Happy New Year everyone!

Sex Meme

Because I said I would

Sex Meme
Fill this out for me, then post it.
Have fun, be safe, and try to find some way to combine the two at the same time! ;-)

There is at least one person on your watch list that wants to fuck the hell out of you.

So lets play the Fuck or Pass game.

The rules are simple.

If you want to fuck the person who posts this, reply saying only "I'd Fuck You." But you have to post this in your journal in exchange.
Same with the pass; just say pass.

Further, if we did have sex, answer the below (You need not answer yes to the above to answer the below. if you answered pass, then just have some fun with the answers).

1. Would you be in control?
2. Would you pull my hair?
3. Would you whisper in my ear?
4. Would you talk dirty to me?
5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?
6. Would you say my name quietly or scream it?
7. Would you go down on me?
8. Would you let me give you a hickie or give me one?
9. How many rounds would we go?
10. What would you wanna do afterwards?
11. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly?
12. Would you lick and bite me all over?
13. Would you like to play or get straight to the point?
14. Would you want me to take my time?
15. How freaky are you, 1 - 10?
16. Would you want fast or slow?
17. Where would you wanna "do it"?
18. Would you be loud or quiet?
19. Would you want me to be loud or quiet?
20. Do you like me or love me?
21. Would you call me the next day?
22. Would you scritch me?
23. Would you let me scritch you?
24. Would you have to be drunk?
25. Would you date me?
26. Would you do it today?
27. Would you do it tomorrow?
28. Do you think that we would go any further then just sex?
29. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you?

"No one?" --Just for that :-p stolen from xiggaroo

Sex meme

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Absolutely. And several I have.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
It *usually* happens at night (as that is when I have free time) though the weekends are fabulous for both morning and my personal favorite: nap time!

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Usually the left side. I think.

4. Do you masturbate?
Sometimes a LOT and sometimes not so much. It comes in waves.

5. How often? Lately?
Lately...once every few day? Sometimes two or three times in a day though. It really varies. And, if I have trouble sleeping it definitely goes up LOL - I use it in place of drugs. :-p

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
I almost always shower, but the very bestest combo is a quick shower followed by a luxurious bath. Or, a bath drawn for you by a wonderful and amazing husband who noticed that you really need some extra tender loving care. :-)

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
I read erotica much more frequently than I watch porn. I prefer to really get into the "why" of things i.e. WHY something gets somebody turned on...though, on the visual side, I do have quite the fondness for

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
By default, aggressive. But, 2009 seems to be all about bringing out my dominant side!

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Of course.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?

13. Would you choose love or money?
Love. But getting the bother together would be really nice!

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Restraints, toys, pain. <<What she said. 15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? Very rarely...and I ensure it doesn't happen again. 16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? Couldn't say. 17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? Depends on your definition of weird. Maybe my mother's workplace? 18. Have you ever been caught having sex? Yes. 19. Have you ever been to a strip club? Only the once. Had a good time, but much prefer burlesque. 20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? Negatory. <<Ditto. Mind, not that it hasn't happened that I *got* some, but it wasn't my sole objective. 21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons? No. 22. Ever been picked up in a bar? Many a time, with varying degrees of success. 23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? Indeed. 24. What's your sexuality? I'm quite queer, thank you. <<What she said, depending on how you define queer. If you mean gay-only, not me. If you mean pansexual, much closer. :-) 25. Had sex in a movie theater? Yes. Several times. 26. Had sex in a bathroom? Yes. Once set off a smoke alarm that way, actually. *shrugs* 27. Have you ever had sex at work? Yes. 28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Babeland, oh how I love thee! And I've been meaning to go back to my local SI one soon. 29. Bought something from an adult store? Absolutely. Did I mention I lurve the Njoy? 30. Do you own any sex toys? I. Fucking. Love. Sex. Toys. << DITTO. 31. If yes, how many and what are they? I actually don't own that many. A crop, a sadly now-broken vibrator (one of the Rabbit ones I think it's called?) that I've kept to use as a prop, a butt plug, my much beloved Njoy, some restraints, some collars, a chain or two. Some heels that are only worn on such occasions LOL. A large wooden hairbrush also kept for certain instances now that I think of it. If anyone decides they want to buy me some to help this pitiful collection do let me know! ;-) 32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? What do you consider naughty? 33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? No. I almost never use names during sex, oddly enough. Sir, now...that has been a mainstay lol. 34. Have you ever had phone sex? Yes. 35. Have you ever had cyber sex? Not yet. 36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse? Intercourse? Dunno. Sex? Yes. 37. What's your favorite sexual position? Depends on my mood. 38. What's your favorite sex act? Also depends on my mood. Sometimes I am particulary fond of giving oral. 39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? Absolutely! It can be a lot of fun. :-) 40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this? Quite a know who you are. :-D

(no subject)

Some stuff I wrote up the other morning and forgot to post:

Achievements and learning experiences in 2008

The most noticeable change from the outside is probably my making dance part of my life again. Staring last January, I began taking social dance (salsa mainly) classes twice a week, leading quickly to performing in a student troupe. I have maintained this through the year, and this is huge because it means I have learned to spend big ticket money on myself, as well as to take time for something that mqakes my heart sing, without feeling too guilty about it. In fact, overall this was a big year of "me", which was a great experience although I do believe it went a tad too far - and 2009 will see me correcting a bit of that.
This past year also heralded a job change for me, back into the corprate world and very happy with the change.

In other big news, I took the poly stuff in a new direction this year, getting emotionally involved with someone - a relationship that has lasted 8 months and shows every sign of continuing. To say this was a shock, for me as well as Deme, would be an understatement. We muddled through it as we always do (meaning pretty much on our own) and I think we are pretty cool now, but we recently discussed the wisdom of reading some helpful material together and getting involved in the poly community a bit, and how this could be very helpful to the both os us. I am eager to see where that leads us.

Raw food as a diet - and lifestyle to an extent - was a large part of the last quarter of 2008 for me, and continues to be central in my life. It is not always easy, and I expect 2009 to bring me a lot of learning along those lines. I also am starting to workout regularly, something I should see big results from by summer, so stay tuned lol.

In 2008 I also put together several burlesque shows. This was a great experience, but one I was not able to keep up with all my other commitments. Performing however is something I am still very interested in, and plan to get back into more over the summer.

Kid-wise, everything has been amazing. Ana is in kindergarten now, and has started reading on her own quite well. Eva wants so much to match her sister, and her math skills in particular are impressive. They are both a joy to be around, generally helpful and polite, always funny and full of love. I adore them both!

Deme has been amazing. I fall in love with him again every day. He is not always easy, but he is always worth it. He has so many qualities that I admire (especially his drive and ambition!) And through it all he stays supportive of my goals and our family and reminds me that he is human too (don't believe the rumors...) Plus he is always looking GOOD. Win. Marriage-wise, we find we share many of the same goals, something which is extremely important.

I have learned that house-wise I need to be alert that I do not allow myself to backslide on my FLYing habits. While a little bit of leeway is sometimes neccessary, without correction of that slide very quickly, things go bad. And when my house is bad, everything suffers. So, awareness is imperative.

I still wish I had more time. :-( Socially, if you are not part of my salsa-world, I probably rarely speak to you, and see you even less. And that sucks - I am a pretty social creature by nature, but after family is dance, and after that very little time is left. I am giving serious consideration to <>sleeping polyphasically</a> :-), though to do the "uberman" scedule in my life I do not think would work at the current juncture.

Llama Drama

I am behind on my food updating (and forgot to photograph today's food - duh!), hopefully I can catch up tomorrow. I am off soon to the post office to mail something for Deme, pick up some chocolate with any luck, and get myself to dance rehearsal.

This weekend was full of angst. Some hard decisions were made, made the more difficult because Deme and I were very close to being at an impasse, and for a brief moment there was uncertainty if we would make it past. But we have not been together this long for nothing, and in the end we were both able to come to the table and find a solution that addressed both of our concerns.

Funnily enough, I think that such drama-filled situations heighten our psychic connection. It would not be the first time - perhaps it is because we deliberately open ourselves to the other when reconnecting after such times? In any case, I would love to learn how to deepen that connection WITHOUT the need for the drama! What made me think of this? Last night we were heading to bed, and neither of us had a phone upstairs (we use them as our alarm clocks). So Deme went downstairs to get his. And I thought very clearly for him to bring up a particular toy. As it happened, he brought up another one, and I thought he had picked up on the general vibe but not the specific thought (especially as I was finding it a bit hard to keep my focus). Turns out, as I found after, that he not only stopped to look at the toy I was thinking of, but touched it, before choosing another.

Writer's Block: Found Objects

As the old saying goes, one person's trash is another person's treasure. What's the best thing—chairs, roller skates, old electronics—you've ever found that someone else had thrown away?

Technically, I did not find this, Deme did. But I love it to death! And that is my (can I call it mine? *ducks*) bowling bag. Actually there are two of them, but I tend to prefer the lighter blue one. They are both old school bowling bags, which means they have great retro lines, with fabulous colors and piping, and they are also designed to carry HEAVY stuff. I can fit a LOT in one of these bags - in fact my trip to Florida back in May was four days of clothing and shoes, in this one carry-on size bag. Gotta love it. And someone was throwing them out!! What's funnier is that they didn't throw them both out at the same time - they were several weeks apart.